Journal+entries

Girl 007

I wish everyone saw me the way I do. Bits and pieces of my physical appearance through mirrors, and the rest by my beautiful thoughts. Then I would be loved. But alas, I am unsightly and my profoundness is lost on consciousness.

I've begun to notice recently- I only have two extremes: Mind-numbing apathy or irrational passion, paralyzing cynicism or religious fervor. There is no in between. Because I can't do anything halfway I have to be careful with what I choose to care about- I can't care about everything, I'd short-circuit. I can't care about nothing, I'd be sick. I need more interests. I need less interests. How can someone be so utterly bored and completely engaged at the same time? The more that I think about it, the less any of it makes sense.

Girl 235

Respect me, leave me be. listen to me, I yearn to be free.

Erase your expectations, escape black and white. respect me, step outside your comfort zone. Invite vibrant colors, welcome me.

Girl 360

Recently, I was looking at a scholarship. For the essay, it wanted me to come up with three words that describe my generation. I could only come up with one, so I didn't fill out the scholarship. But I haven't been able to let go of the essay topic. It has been eating away at me, but I still have not gotten very far in my thinking.

For a long time I thought my generation was just apathetic. This does seem to be the general consensus. It makes sense. Most of my peers never want to try anything new, or help change things. Yes, it seems as though they don't care. But this isn't the case. My generation isn't apathetic, just overwhelmed.

Can you blame us? The world is a mess, literally and figuratively. Individually we can't change it all. As one person we can maybe change a fraction one thing. Thats it. But we are so overwhelmed, we can't even do that. Oh, dear generation, we are not a lost cause, yet. To all you overwhelmed people, young or old, read this quote and do exactly what it says. Or else.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go and do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman

Girl 007

I am who I spend my time with. I am painfully impressionable and adaptable. I can feel out my surroundings and assimilate to the social atmosphere, and with unsettling exactness I can speak the popular opinion in the correct accent and vernacular. I easily harmonize with the personalities of others. I tune in to your inner most thoughts and insecurities. I am a mirror, you look in me and you see yourself. Not because I am like you, but because I am relatable. I have lived a thousand different lives through others.

I am so diverse that I am divided- who I am is scattered across the universe like burnt out stars. Something broke inside me, and now an old woman stoops with her wicker basket and broom to pick up the pieces. I am relevant to every situation, but by myself I am nothing- irrelevant. Ultimately irrelevant. I can be who ever you want me to be and you never have to ask. I am defined by my host, by the character I am playing. I truly am a product of society- the books I read, the music I listen to, and the people around me.

Boy 720

You could probably find me helping various people around town or playing basketball at the Island Community Center. I'm a powerhouse and a hard worker. But, besides my frame, I'm a huge teddy bear and everyone calls me one. I have a big heart and care about everyone. I've been homeless, I've lost friends to accidents and suicide, I've been made fun of my whole life, but, I'm a strong person, and when you're physically tough and mentally tough, you are pretty much invincible. I'm the kind of guy that would take a 100 dollar bill out of his pocket and give it to a struggling person because it’s the best thing to do.

Well, that's me. We’re all strong in our own ways. I'm sure everyone here as gone through so much that we can't do anything but be strong. I am a sweetheart but also, I can be vicious. I can be evil, but I won’t. It's just not in my nature, and it never will be, because I'm one of the best teenagers on the face of the earth. Hey, maybe I'm the best in the world. But who knows?

Girl 007

They say that 90% of an old mattresses' weight is dead skin cells- dust. That's what is happening to me. I am slowly absorbing memories, the dead skin cells of time